


Why Bad Angels Go Good

by Priestlyislove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Backstory, Brotherly Love, Development for minor characters, Gen, One Shot, Post-Episode: s05e19 Hammer of the Gods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 06:31:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7497798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Priestlyislove/pseuds/Priestlyislove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Losing the only person who ever believed in him changed Balthazar forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Bad Angels Go Good

Balthazar stepped over yet another corpse of a forgotten god. Since he arrived at the motel he had counted eight, but he wasn't here to find every body.

There was only one he was looking for.

He walked through the halls, not able to muster any speed. He wanted to find him, but at the same time, he didn't.

He mentally cursed himself. He had always looked out for Gabriel, just like Gabriel had for him. Even though he was significantly younger, he saw it as his duty to watch over him. Perhaps it was because despite his depth, Gabriel often acted childlike. Balthazar believed Gabriel had come into this world laughing. He was always so much more fun than the others. But he was more than a smiling face. He understood pain, and suffering, and things the newer angels couldn't have known. Their father gave the first four emotions that were amazingly complex, yet easily corrupted. Gabriel did not turn bitter like Lucifer, however. Instead he was filled with empathy. This made him a suitable friend for the little angel who he found crying. Balthazar didn't even know what sadness was. He saw himself as a defect. Gabe saw him as an opportunity.

They grew close as the centuries passed. It mainly consisted of them screwing each other over the best way they could, but sometimes they would spend downtime together. It was nice to have someone who shared your sense of humor. Humans came around and Gabriel developed an attachment instantly. Balthazar never saw the appeal, but that didn't seem to matter back then.

But then the fighting in the family got worse. Gabriel hated it, refusing to choose sides because he loved Michael and Lucifer equally. And things kept getting worse. Lucifer was banished. Gabriel disappeared. Balthazar knew he faked his death. But he never spoke a word of it to the others. He knew, despite everything, his brother was still just a softie and he could use the chance to start again. Balthazar watched over him still, but this time from a distance. A distance just a little too far. He realized this just a little too late.

He came upon yet another door. He rested his hand upon its large form and closed his eyes. He prepped himself for whatever he may find in this room. _This could be the one_ , he thought. _Any of these could be the one._

He pushed it open, hesitantly fluttering his eyes open. “Oh…” he said softly, all the emotion drained from his body. There was his brother.

"Damn it, Gabe..." He stepped to his side, kneeling down. He checked the body, hoping it was another trick. Gabriel lay there with his eyes open, limbs spread out. A heartbroken look remained on his face. There were no signs of it being just a big joke. He seemed so real, and so very _lifeless_. But surely it couldn't be real. Surely his brother could not be there before him. Surely this was not their long awaited reunion. It had to be a prank.

“That's you, isn't it? The prankster. Always getting into trouble,” he smiled bitterly. “Always falling in love with every goddamn thing you see. And now look where your love’s gotten you.” 

Balthazar moved slowly and gathered up Gabriel’s hands, clutching them tightly. They were so cold. "It's okay, it's okay. I've got you. You don't have to be scared,” he murmured. “Brother’s got you.”

He pressed them against his lips and closed his eyes, gently kissing the knuckles. “I've got you.”

He had never been close to anyone like he was close to Gabriel. Gabriel was the only one who had ever seen him cry. He was the only one who thought he was worthwhile. And he knew it was selfish, but Balthazar didn't ever want to give that up. He wanted to be with him forever. He knew it couldn't last. Gabriel had always been the runaway angel. 'The messenger.' Balthazar knew eventually he would have to say goodbye to him for real. He thought he was ready. 

“Balthazar?”

Balthazar quickly wiped at his eyes and turned to look at Joshua. He stood over them like a guardian angel, cutting them off from time so they could have a moment to themselves in an unforgiving world. “What are you doing here?” 

Joshua looked away. “I followed you. I thought you would like me to bring his body back to heaven. It's the least I could do.”

He shook his head. “Joshua, you don't owe us anything. I did what I did because I wanted to, okay? I'm not,” his voice broke. He wouldn't let himself cry. He tried speaking again, this time softer. “I'm calling off my deals. No one has to pay me back.”

Joshua walked to him, setting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He was always kind, always poised, always merciful. Only now did Balthazar wish he could be more like him.  “He only pretended to mind, Balthazar. He didn't care about all the deals you made. He was fine with you the way you were. The way you are.”

“The damn idiot loved everyone. I have to start caring, even if it's just pretending. Because he didn't deserve this, Josh, he didn't deserve to die.” 

Joshua did not speak. There was nothing to be said.

Balthazar continued, this time speaking softly to the corpse, “I'll be loyal. I'll be courageous. I won't keep my distance anymore. Maybe I'll go find Cas. You remember little Cassie? I'll take care of him for you.” He closed his eyes. “That's the best I can do. I know that's a shitty present considering you're dead, but it's the best I can do.”

Balthazar stood up. He looked at Joshua. “Don't go thinking I'm soft, alright? I'm not like you. I'm doing this for him." 

Joshua smiled a little. “He's the only one you could do it for, Balthazar." He glanced down at Gabe.

"Now let's bring him home.”


End file.
